Happy

I just want to be happy.
Happy is self-inflicted.
and at times a difficult concept to grasp, to conceive.
The concept is simple: "do what makes you feel good"
The investment is insurmountable yet the implementation to this idea is where the trouble lies
There are plenty internal & external forces constantly preventing and prevailing against you.
Non-ignorable, relentless, daunting, draining.
You don't give up the fight but at the same time its likely you can't give it your all.
Times this by day in and day out and on repeat, and you've got yourself trying to find what makes you happy...
...all for the sake of your sanity
or to remember what "happy" felt like
not even for feeling it brought you - ecstatic joy.

You can easily remember you happy but you can remember you happy

I say find out fast before happy becomes a case of nostalgia
instead of an emotion taking place now.

Happy isn't hard to achieve, you just aren't trying to achieve it.

Black Aquarium

So I started my aquarium back up
(after a good 4 year hiatus)

So a lil older, a bit more grown

I came back with a smooth, impressive

Black Aquarium

Azul is my Betta fish
He's a beast when it comes to eating his bloodworms. So vicious. A curious lil fella that gets into the weirdest positions and places
and does the oddest things
but it's cool because that iridescent color
he's got going on is immaculate!

+

4 African Dwarf Frogs
Yes, 2 are actually albino/white/blonde
I've always had these frogs as a pet ever since 4^th grade
It's fun to watch them inhabit the bottom of the aquarium
sans the fighting

One pretty cool aquarium

Framework

It's funny because...
When I look at the bigger picture or the full scheme of things
I never see myself in it.

I see my friends, my family, even just some people I know...
doing things, accomplishing goals, living out their dreams.
And the harder I look I see things I'd like to think I can take credit for,
things I think I helped or supported others to get
but still no me in the picture.

Traces of me but no photos of me.

I see me in the framework of my friends and family
but no me in sight of this photo I hold in sight.
This was never caused the concern of "I will never become anything"
but I'd like some confirmation, anything!?

I NOW know that's I'm not to see it, I'm to create it.
The bigger picture is everchanging... with me in mind!
You simply can't take a picture of your work with you in it.
I'm still in the process of making my completing masterpiece
one day at a time until the day its mine.
Until then these are just glimpses of my work underconstruction.
As a result, regardless of if the picture currently changes for better or worse
it's the framework, the frame of mind that makes or breaks the photo.
Change your mindframe and you're never out of frame.
I finally realized I'll never be in the frame because I'm still composing my life's work.

I suffer from...

An overactive mind,
a heavy heart
I get too far ahead of myself
and I tend to forget about myself
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
I got it right but it was all a dream.

My thoughts run a million miles per hour
Sometimes in life I feel devoured
My soul's gone awry
My body ain't alright
I'm running on E due to no sleep.

I know if my mind, heart, body & soul ain't in it,
I'm not in it to win it.

You can't buy time and I'm just waiting on mine.

So I grind until it's my time to shine.

Pandora.

This semester's study sessions have been provided by none other than

[internet radio]
I just log on & turn it up

Homework gets done to Pandora.

Favorite Station:

Mutya Buena

Soul, Blues, R&B, Soul, Jazz
[new school + old school]

inspirational

ABC's of me

The ABC's of ME
A - Artist [aesthetics]
B - Blatino [Black x Cubano]
C - College Student
D - Designer [fashion]
E - Entrepreneur
F - fly & fresh
G - gifted by God
H - Human
I - Inspiration
J - je ne sais quoi
K - Kinetic
L - Lifeaholic
M - Music & Motivating Mind
N - Nostalgic
O - Optimistic
P - Perfectionist
Q - "quotes"
R - Rebel Without Applause; Riot for a Cause
S - So Stylistic
T - Talented
U - Urban gentleman
V - Victorious [NEVER the victim]
W - Wisdom
X - Xerox [please don't, get original]
Y - [Forever] Young
Z - zesty zeal

now you know my ABC's,
this time you know a little more about me.

Supras...

White Skyline Leather Supras
[my latest purchase]
I heart these kicks.


are my life.
[they my steez]

"Shine" by Mikeman

I don't get how anyone can be with someone that dims their shine.
I couldn't be with someone that comprises what's mine.
She's the star in the relationship and its clear to see.
With a future and personality so bright,
her dude must of caught her with a bunch of artificial neon lights.
Boyfriend mean muggs while the girl lights up the room with a smile
that'll light up the night sky for miles.
I'm not speaking as another dude trynna get at her.
I'm speaking as the one who reminds her.
She'll never be that that star she was destined to be
not hangin' wit that B.
You shine 'cause you're a star
I just need you to know who you are.

by Mikeman

Color of the Year: YELLOW

2010
Color of the Year

YELLOW

The year still has a ways to go but already I've OD'd onYELLOW.
Button ups, Polos, T-shirts so sick!
I'm a sucka for bright, fly & flashy clothes
its just my steelo.
Knowing not many people can pull of yellow
I ROCK THAT SHIT!
Plus yellow is a happy color,
it puts a smile on ladies' faces haha


& clearly it looks good on me!
Mikeman

My FAVORITE candy!!!!!!!!!!

MASAPAN
Yeah, its a mexican candy!
It's made of peanut and it's the best tasting candy on the face of this Earth.
I don't know if this is an Arizona thang for me or too much of a Mexican influence on me but Masapan definetely my favorite candy!
Technically, I'm supposed to be allergic to peanuts *see previous posts*
but F#CK IT!

I got like 4 left out of a 12 pack of Masapans.

*eats on while writing post*
3 left


MASAPAN loving,
Mikeman

#MusicMonday: Ruff Endz - No More

Yall remember this joint?

Ruff Endz - "NO MORE"

Ruff Endz were a R&B duo from B'more (Baltimore, Maryland).
& I'm telling you if you forgot this song - once the chorus hits you'll remember every word of it. This was my jam back int he day. Had no idea Ruff Endz made the song tho... or that this song is 10 years old (2000 hit single)
googled for lyrics, song and artist


"NO MORE shopping sprees, NO MORE late night creeps, NO MORE VIP's, NO MORE dough, We can't even kick it NO MORE"
feels good to be reunited wit an old school jam


2000 being considered old school?

#MusicMonday 1/4/2010
Mikeman

FEAR [inspired by Jazmine Sullivan]

One of my favorite songs
"Fear" by Jazmine Sullivan.

"This may sound silly but its true
So don't pretend it ain't you too
We're all afraid of something there
Cuz you ain't human without FEAR"

I believe "there's nothing to fear but fear itself." But since fear is something we manifest in our minds due to either a rational or irrational hysteria its hard to void on our own because of our individual rational or irrational selves.

Too heavy? Too deep?
Well its simple actually. But we make it up to be more than what it really is by personifying something that's not even real. I wish I could give you advice on how to conquer your fears but I've got some of my own.


3 Biggest FEARS:
I'm deathly pyrophobic.
[tell me fire doesn't burn and I won't fear it --- impossible]

Afraid of heights
[probably why I'm afraid of roller coasters haha]

Fear of not knowing what my future holds...
[I believe this is a loaded fear. Both a fear of time (the uncertain future) and not: knowing and being in control (the uncertainty).

I get really contemplative and start to wondering what my future holds for me. Like what's going to happen (in my life). With life there's no guarantee or guidebook to lead the way... in this journey called life. So when I really get to thinking about my future it truly does freak me out NOT knowing what is to become of me. If I'm doing the right thing? Making the right moves? etc. I overanalyze everything before I make a move and sometime I even think I kill myself over for that. [I'M DEFINITELY A THINKER] But before I kill myself in thought over analyzing life I stop and think...

"And if everything turns out
The way I hope it goes
Then I can't wait to find out
What it is that God knows" - Mutya Buena

Only God knows what's in store for me
So Imma just let his plan for me ride out


fears handed to God,
Mikeman

Mikeman's Birthday [Nov 6]

Name: Mikeman
DOB: 11/06/1989
Age: 20
Mood: On top of the freakin' WORLD!!!!!


Yes, yall Nov 6^th is my BIRTHDAY!
*airhorn airhorn*
prior to the day I was scheduled to work which was a personal killjoy but a #textsthatgetnoreply got REPLIED to! My co-worker Aubree was willing to cover my shift friday and work for me. Unfortunetly, I still had to go to class with a math test awaiting my presence but its all good cuz I sho did show that test who's the BOSS! and finished school by 12.

Rewind to the 11/5
My homie Luis have been waiting & talking bout My BIRTHDAY since it was October 6^th. And on Twitter Vero, Frankie & Dtay (my homies) and Dara were counting down the minutes like some late night tweeters haha! As soon as it turned 12,
I got the Happy Birthday tweets from
@veroooo , @frankenstein_23 , @fuckurlifebitch & @menaababyy22
and even earlier in the day a Happy Birthday tweet from @xCurry08 in the BK & @ZIONOLOGY in the UK!
& as the day progressed I got my BDAY tweets from
@MissDimplez , @MsErika1986, @LiL_Ta, @AntonioReyX360, @YoungMelo & @WonderWomanAce.

My Facebook is filled with Happy Birthdays from everyone
[Kaitlan, Zion, Reggie, Tony, Frankie, Corey, Mena, Bryttenni, Alex, La'Nai, Glo, Chirs Jervis, Damaris, Ami, Renaka, Wilmar, Diana, Mickell, Corrin, Aaron, Evelyn, Greg, Becky, Maria, Mirna, Tere, Elisabet, Mme, Erika, Maleah, Mykaela, Josh & Tristian]

I got mad Happy Birthday texts
[Vero, Luis, Mena, Eric, Dtay, Kaity, Evelyn, Cass, Jess, Nessa, Shaq, Marlin, Maritza, Odalys, Stephanie, Rebecca & Melissa & convos]

I even got sung Happy Birthday en espanol haha
[thx Kurt haha]

& of coarse Myspace gave me love too!

ALL in all I definetely felt loved today!
Thank you all for making my 20th Bday the effin BEST!



Mikeman


PS.
BEST Happy Birthday wish
"Happy bday big dick ass mother fucker. Hope its the shit and I wish you the best pussy ever! Lol" - ERIC

Talking SH!T at the barbershop ('bout ME?!)

So I got a fresh haircut cuz Mikeman was looking mighty nappy!

So I go to my barbershop.
No line = No Wait = Barbershop Paradise cuz I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU but I don't like waiting for my haircut. It already takes a while for PERFECTION for my hair to get cut. Anyways, I got in, sat down, said I wanted "1 on top & a 0 on the sides" for a fresh fade and he started cuttin' away...

*QUICK NOTE*
here in Arizona we have Mexicans. Now race doesn't matter - I'm not racist, but without giving too much explanation tha fact that they're Mexican is vital to the story.

...and about 2 seconds into clippin' my hair he (my barber) starts speaking in Spanish with the owner/head barber and another barber.

Talk about DISRESPECT!
[Speaking in another language in front of someone who: 1) who clearly doesn't know the language and 2) would assume your talking about them ('bout ME?!)]

It was rapid fire espanol the moment the clippers grazed my naps.
I wasn't paying attention to a word they said, until I heard 'em say moreno and then I was all ears.

Moreno means dark-skinned and obviously dark-skinned Hispanics but also for a word used, here in AZ, for Black folks and there wasn't anyone Black in there but me. But what yall may not know about me is I'm CUBAN. I know Spanish (for the most part...I don't speak it cuz I forgot it cuz I never used it)

So like the saying goes my ears are burning as I quote/unquote eavesdrop their convo as these Mexicans talk about me? el moreno??? Cuz they really got some NERVES talking bout me like that while cutting my hair. The audacity! Talking mainly about the difference between Blacks & Hispanics regarding hair, hair product, haircuts, attitudes and just talking straight mess bout my [Black] peoples...

I was on the verge of laughter cuz 1) they don't know that I know they talking about me right under the clippers & 2) These Mexicans are really talking mess and I truly cant wait to confront their asses about this.

I was in disbelief like it felt like forever when you know someone is talking bout YOU with a look on your face like "this bitch..."

Cuttin' to the chase after the barbers stopped talkin' SH!T
Barber "So do you know Spanish?"
[cuz he had the feeling I was listening to their convo]
Me "yeah"
Barber "Oh for reals?" *shocked*
Me "yeah, I'm Cuban"
[nonchalant/as a matter of fact]
Barber "Oh.." *caught*
Barber "So you understood what we were saying?"
Me "yeah, pretty much"

Then we talk'd it out mainly about me being Cubano and yeah we cool now
He knows better than to talk SH!T about me in Spanish cuz just yeah...

Sinceramente,
Miguel

KIX: Kid Tested, Mothers Approved MY A$$

LAST Sunday, July 12, 2009 at around noon
I had an ANAPHYLAXTIC reaction

WHAT'S THAT?

"Anaphylaxis is the term for a severe allergic reaction. I may begin within minutes (which it did), up to an hour after exposure to the substance you are allergic to ("allergen"). Symptoms include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or stomach cramps, itchy rash (hives), swelling of the eyes, lips, face or tongue, wheezing, difficulty breathing and swallowing, throat tightness, chest pain or fainting

This kind of reaction can be life threatening."

According Banner Estrella Hospital (the hospital I was admitted to).


The Story
'Round 12 o'clock noon, I poured some KIX cereal into a cup and started eating some KIX business as usually. Normally I would of been at church on Sunday, but I had a paper to write and got hungry. And in about 5 mins of a couple handfuls of damn KIX cereal... I felt funny. I've never felt this way before in my life: my face was itchy so I was scratching it, my throat felt unusual and scratchy and I started wheezing [the symptoms of Anaphylaxis if you weren't paying attn] and after washing my mouth out for about 3 mins in the bathroom & looking in the mirror at my hive stuck face, I told my dad "I think I'm having an allergic reaction to Kix." I wasn't in a pretty good state.

So we immediately rushed to the hospital which was about a 15 min drive. All the while my symptoms are getting worse: just like the definition, my eyes, lips, face and tongue were swelling and swollen to the MAX! I looked grotesque... Lips bigger than Jigga man! (so not funny at the time tho) and my throat was tightening to the point where after 5 mins after leaving the house I couldn't talk or breath from my mouth (only my nose).

We get to the hospital, I'm taken immediately to ER where they gave me an oxygen mask because the Anaphylaxis was cutting off my air supply & without any air > I die. Even there they were surprised at how badly swollen my face & lips were. They shot me up with IVs in both arms, took my blood, got my vitals all that hospital stuff. I was given Benadryl (antihistamine to fight the allergy), Epinephrine to open my airways, raise my heart rate & other excitatory functions because technically my body was dying due to the lack of oxygen because of the Anaphylaxis. FYI Epinephrine is pure adrenaline & I was given Pepcid cuz all these drugs were gonna FUCK with my stomach and they didn't want me in gastric pain on top of dying.

Due to the adrenaline (Epinephrine) my heart was beating so hard & fast I honestly just wanted it out of my body. And due to the Benadryl, I was in and out of consciousness (Benadryl> causes drowsiness). After I stabilized a bit I text'd a few ppl (friends & fam) about how I was [didnt twitter a soul]. I had 2 visitors: my bestfriends Vero & Katelynn (KK). I remember talking to Veronica but honestly only remembering saying "hi" and "bye" with KK (so sorry it was the drugs haha). But I still had mad Twitter luv & shoutouts from the bestfriends @GL0, @veroooo, @frankenstein_23 and the homegirl @menaababyy22 & calls and texts I really could respond to being either drowzy (asleep knock'd up on meds) or couldnt speak.

Anyways long story short, I spent the night in ICU, was constantly being checked upon, always sleeping & watching the "ER" marathon oh the irony.

In and out of consciousness, I was unaware of the fact that I honestly could of had DIED! which my parents kept reiterating because they were so glad I was alive and well after being discharged Monday, July 13 2009 @ 1:30PM Mountain Time (I live in Phx).

Throughout the whole Anaphylaxtic episode I wasn't really scared or thought I was gonna die. No ply major plea bargains with God expect help me. I just wanted this to be fixed NOW and wanted to go home NOW! instead of spending the night there for monitoring.

Having this near death experience truly makes me appreciate life a whole lot more... more than even this blog can express.

-Mikeman





PS
I'm good now but I AIN'T NEVER EATING KIX AGAIN IN MY LIFE
They can KICK ROCKS for all I care

Chicken Noodle Soup for the STOOPID.

Remember the series?


Chicken Noodle Soup for the ...
(whoever was in need of it)

Well, I always envisioned making my own & it would be tentitively titled,
Chicken Noodle Soup for the STOOPID
For all the people out there who wonder if they're stupid or not. NOT stupid as in not smart cuz I would never call someone that but stupid as in ignorant, arragant, ppl who act before they think, ppl lacking common sense, reasoning, taking all things into consideration, low self-esteem, etc and all things necessary for life - in actuality it would be a self help book, a DIY (do it yourself) book.

I'd fill it with my saying, favorite quotes, beliefs, scriptures, favorite lyrics that speak volumes (i.e. "Don't be a HARD ROCK, when you really are a GEM" -Lauryn Hill), and just my insight & knowlegde on how to better yourself Mikeman-style.

So I guess, my book would not only be a self help book but also teach the ill-informed, ignorant, haters, lames, bitchassness infected, etc ppl to change their ways in drops of knowledge cuz "I'm not giving you brain, Im giving you knowledge" (Estelle)

My book will be balancing catering to the quote/unquote stoopid & just as a book of my teaching in ways to excel in life through my eyes, my life - "Koloring OUTSIDE the lines" is the new title!

"Koloring OUTSIDE the lines"
by Mikeman

WHY mikeman HAS BEEN MISSING

there's no excuse for being MIA for so long
but honestly - I have one

1) TWITTER
Ive been on that badboy like a dog on a bone
so follow me www.twitter.com/MikemanxMiguel
U wont be disappointed :)

2) CLUBBIN' x PARTYIN'
kinda self explainitory
need i say more...
Ive been having a blast doing it up!

3) WORKING OUT
Yes, I have been working out more than usual
especially since its the summer
gotta look right, am i right?
so im here trynna loose wt + gain muscle

4) SCHOLARSHIPS
gotta stay paid when it comes to college
[havent spent a dime on tuition...just books]
Yes, I'm that smart and i'd like to keep it that way

and

5) SUMMER SCHOOL
I wanna get school DONE so i can move on to a university
[Wanna get my BA + MASTERS]
so im taking my summer to get ahead
im taking eng102 & macroeconomics


...and that is exactly whats been taking up my blogging
but i will be getting back into it
fo sho, fo sho


Mikeman

For ALL my peeps who TWEET

follow me
sígame
suivez-moi

http://twitter.com/MikemanxMiguel

25 Random Facts about Mikeman

25 Random Facts about MIKEMAN

1. I bite my nails

2. I love celebreality
(Celebrity news x reality TV)

3. Pyrophobic > fear of fire

4. Student Athletes who ONLY wear athletic clothes irritates me! Like all you have to wear is basketball shorts, white tees or team attire, tube socks and flip-flops??? [Im sorry if this is you]

5. I’ve got the biggest sweet tooth ever!

6. I’m a perfectionist

7. Music is my EVERYTHING...like you have no idea! From waking up to going to sleep. I have so many different types of artists I love & listen to that I could care less if you like or not. But if you do we on the same page. Genres: Underground, Rap, Hip-Hop, R&B, Soul, Latin, Reggaeton, Reagae, Dancehall, Pop, Alternative, Grime/Garage, Pop, Dance and etc you know all the way down to those undefineables. Music is my heart and soul and without it i truly think ill cease to exist! A true music fan…no addict!
(Glo, Reggie, Vero, Frankie, Jessica - I know you feel me)

8. I love seafood!
(Crab legs, lobster, skrimps, clams, calamari, and fish...yum!)

9. I’m afraid of dying alone...not the fact that i can’t find anyone but girls i talk to become good friends...NOT GIRLFRIENDS :(

10. I’m pretty SPont@n3ouS & rand0m. Not like "Oh! I’m random" but like I really am and not everyone can handle that. (right Veronica & Evelyn

11. Even tho I’m tall (6’1’’ to be exact) I hate feeling short when standing next to others taller than me

12. I talk way too much

13. Textaholic

14. Although I’m BLACK I relate more to my CUBAN side and sometime have to remind myself “I am black” as far as the eye can see. I feel sometimes I suffer an identity crisis not knowing what I am at the moment because I’m both BLACK & CUBAN. And my exterior is black but my interior is Hispanic. So no NOT all the black stereotypes or Latino stereotypes work apply to me. I’m too Hispanic to be FULL Black and too Black to be FULL Hispanic But this doesn’t mean I deny either side. It’s a constant battle…I’m Black & Latino and Hispanic & African American whichever way you wanna slice it I am it. And I love it, I couldn’t wish me any other way :)

15. Je parle le français

16. Fashion/clothes/personal style is very important to me…as I’m pretty sure you’ve all see/noticed. I rock what I want ….. & swagga jackers are WHACK!

17. “I may have BIG LIPS but I have even BIGGER TALENT” – Fantasia

18. I’m a sucker for chicks in heels

19. I trip, I fall, I’m clumsy….U love it

20. Fortune Cookies piss me off

21. Even tho Arizona gets 100 and HELL degrees I love it to death…certified AZ kid

22. I’m never easily intimidated

23. My friends make me better and are honestly all I need to get by. I thanks them so for all they’ve done for me despite them ever truly ever knowing.

24. I ultimately want to become a fashion designer
[men x women clothing, pants, shirts, shoes, heels, etc]
Yes, I have a name for it
No, Im not releasing it via the internet…yet
If you like me you’ll like it

25. REAL TALK: What lies behind this big ole smile of mine are far less glamorous than the truths and realities of my life.