The "When I'm Gone" Effect

The "When I'm Gone" Effect
It's sad to say it comes to everyone as a surprise...
but it's no surprise.
Classic case of boy meets girl/girl meets boy.

Guys, you find a good chick
that you like more than the fact she likes the dick.
Ladies, you find a good man
that likes you more than your looks.
She's beautiful, she cares, doesn't want you just for your money and you know good and well she could be the one.
He's handsome, treats you right, doesn't want you just for the title and you know good and well he could be the one.
There's good chemistry, great personality, nonstop humor,
a wit & intelligent and love felt by all
his for her, hers for him.
A good love.

The love is going nice and strong
But as time goes on
they ran out of it,
something went rancid!

Somehow, at some time
things were said:
words and objects.
Things were hurt:
hearts and feeling, prides and egos.

As they make their final arguments
she says, "you'll never know how good you had it."
He says something that hits home HARD and hurts...
She gathers her strength and states,
"you'll miss me when I'm gone."

The trial was ugly
the verdict is: no longer together
irreconcilable differences he/she was an [censored]
you're now broken up because you both screwed up!

It's a shame it took a break up for him
to realize how good of a woman he had
It's a shame it took a break up for her
to realize how good of a women she is.

It's the age old "when she's gone"/"when he's gone" or "when I'm gone" effect.
No matter if it was she or he who ultimately messed up in the relationship.
We all know not to get into a relationship if we're not ready
and better yet,
getting into a relationship to make you feel happy is a recipe for disaster
because 2 unhappy people starting a relationship only makes one miserable couple.
You're only getting back what you put in.

With that being said,
Why get into a relationship to test your worth?
Or better yet, to find out what your worth is?
Again, it's sad to say, people only discover their worth
"when I'm gone" after the damage is done,
the undervaluing of self by self and others.

It's about time people, both men and women
know their worth before getting into a relationship.
Know your worth so that it can
never be undervalued, destroyed or treated any less that what it is.

Know your worth
so that next time you won't fall victim to the realization of the "When I'm Gone" effect.

HOE [the double standard]

Here's my point of view on the matter.
Ladies, you complain about them
BUT I really don't SEE or UNDERSTAND WHY?

Christina Aguilera really explains in her song, "Can't Hold Us Down" feat. Lil Kim

"if you look back in history
its a common double standared of society.
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
while the girl can do the same but yet you call her a whore.
I don't understand why its okay
the guy can get away with it, the girl gets named." -Xtina

True.
This has been an issue throughout time.
The more girls the dude gets the more of the man homie is.

"Here's something I just cant understand,
if a guy have 3 girls then he's the man.
He can even give her some head or sex her off
but if a girl do the same then shes a whore." -Lil Kim

The lyrics are blunt & abrasive but the truth usually is
and I agree with it [and the lyrics] 100%
Offended?
Well you shouldn't be you see...
I have higher standards for women.
Having hoes is more of man thing!
WOMEN should be ladies and know better that to be treated as such and to even do the same because I feel you should/can/will do better.
Don't get me wrong men shouldn't treat women that way from the beginning but with females on the receiving end or enacting the in such behavior it doesn't make me think you any better of you.

Food for thought,
Michael.

"Shine" by Mikeman

I don't get how anyone can be with someone that dims their shine.
I couldn't be with someone that comprises what's mine.
She's the star in the relationship and its clear to see.
With a future and personality so bright,
her dude must of caught her with a bunch of artificial neon lights.
Boyfriend mean muggs while the girl lights up the room with a smile
that'll light up the night sky for miles.
I'm not speaking as another dude trynna get at her.
I'm speaking as the one who reminds her.
She'll never be that that star she was destined to be
not hangin' wit that B.
You shine 'cause you're a star
I just need you to know who you are.

by Mikeman

"Out of Love"

"Out of Love"
by Michael A Bowens

In and Out of Love like Cheri Dennis
Back and Forth like a game of tennis
Same thang expecting a change
This is INSANE!
And yet we live it.
You wanna break but not break up
We're exclusive but I saw you with him
I love you, I hate you
let me love you, fuck you
like opposites we attract
but like damn magnets we repel
We don't fight tooth & nail because we're not together,
So I can't "go to hell"
You're volatile and unstable
And for us I was willing and able
But I was playing you, playing me
We both can see that this cant be
Thinking the same will change
living the beautiful insane
Score: 0 to 0 love
because there is no love, love
I'd love a rematch
but 'til then
Out with Love.

Mikeman