Happy

I just want to be happy.
Happy is self-inflicted.
and at times a difficult concept to grasp, to conceive.
The concept is simple: "do what makes you feel good"
The investment is insurmountable yet the implementation to this idea is where the trouble lies
There are plenty internal & external forces constantly preventing and prevailing against you.
Non-ignorable, relentless, daunting, draining.
You don't give up the fight but at the same time its likely you can't give it your all.
Times this by day in and day out and on repeat, and you've got yourself trying to find what makes you happy...
...all for the sake of your sanity
or to remember what "happy" felt like
not even for feeling it brought you - ecstatic joy.

You can easily remember you happy but you can remember you happy

I say find out fast before happy becomes a case of nostalgia
instead of an emotion taking place now.

Happy isn't hard to achieve, you just aren't trying to achieve it.