Monday, July 18, 2011

The "When I'm Gone" Effect

The "When I'm Gone" Effect
It's sad to say it comes to everyone as a surprise...
but it's no surprise.
Classic case of boy meets girl/girl meets boy.

Guys, you find a good chick
that you like more than the fact she likes the dick.
Ladies, you find a good man
that likes you more than your looks.
She's beautiful, she cares, doesn't want you just for your money and you know good and well she could be the one.
He's handsome, treats you right, doesn't want you just for the title and you know good and well he could be the one.
There's good chemistry, great personality, nonstop humor,
a wit & intelligent and love felt by all
his for her, hers for him.
A good love.

The love is going nice and strong
But as time goes on
they ran out of it,
something went rancid!

Somehow, at some time
things were said:
words and objects.
Things were hurt:
hearts and feeling, prides and egos.

As they make their final arguments
she says, "you'll never know how good you had it."
He says something that hits home HARD and hurts...
She gathers her strength and states,
"you'll miss me when I'm gone."

The trial was ugly
the verdict is: no longer together
irreconcilable differences he/she was an [censored]
you're now broken up because you both screwed up!

It's a shame it took a break up for him
to realize how good of a woman he had
It's a shame it took a break up for her
to realize how good of a women she is.

It's the age old "when she's gone"/"when he's gone" or "when I'm gone" effect.
No matter if it was she or he who ultimately messed up in the relationship.
We all know not to get into a relationship if we're not ready
and better yet,
getting into a relationship to make you feel happy is a recipe for disaster
because 2 unhappy people starting a relationship only makes one miserable couple.
You're only getting back what you put in.

With that being said,
Why get into a relationship to test your worth?
Or better yet, to find out what your worth is?
Again, it's sad to say, people only discover their worth
"when I'm gone" after the damage is done,
the undervaluing of self by self and others.

It's about time people, both men and women
know their worth before getting into a relationship.
Know your worth so that it can
never be undervalued, destroyed or treated any less that what it is.

Know your worth
so that next time you won't fall victim to the realization of the "When I'm Gone" effect.


Pam said...

The English Teacher in me critiqued this for content; it's very good. Your philosophy is healthy- both the guy and the girl have to be ready, fully developed confident people, with lots of life experiences behind them so they recognize a lasting relationship is far beyond the physical. It doesn't work when either of the pair has to say " You'll miss me when I'm gone."

Mikeman said...

Thank you Pam, I really do appreciate it. I took AP English in high school and excelled but was also always very good at it. So thank you for that perspective on your evaluation. And you're commentary is exactly my point. So thanks.